Goodbye Dear Mother, Please Don’t Cry

I wrote a poem and placed it your hands.
Around the poem I sketched many things,
a kingfisher on a branch of the tree of life,
images that will blaze in my heart forever.
Free at last after sixty grief-stricken years,
your dead, beaten up, broken down body
has departed, they cannot reach you now
as the Soul ascends to meet the ancestors.

Thank you dear mother for giving me life,
I am sorry that yours was filled with pain.
Thank you for gifting me poetry, patience
and the strength to stand beside sorrow.
Without a funeral, I must put pen to paper
as a fiery curtain sweeps across your stage.
I light a candle and whisper from the wings,
goodbye Dear Mother, please don’t cry.

 

© Deborah Gregory 2021

In the photo, I’m looking down in wonder at my new sister on my mother’s lap, which makes me around 18 months old.

Please find below a copy of my poem, “Dear Mother, Dear Mother” which I left with my mother – artist, I’m not! x

 

26 thoughts on “Goodbye Dear Mother, Please Don’t Cry

    1. Thank you so much Luisa! I loved your recent dive into Thomas Hardy’s “The Voice” … it’s one of my favourite poems by him … such an exquisite first line. Love and light, Deborah.

  1. I’m so sad for you and your family Deborah, please accept my deepest condolences.

    Your poem, Dear Mother, Dear Father, turns on all the lights in Heaven.

    1. Thank you Bookworm for your kind-hearted message and generous comment! In my second poetry collection you can find my “Dear Mother, Dear Father” poem on page 84. Love and light, Deborah.

  2. My dearest! You are the worthiest friend of mine. Three times have tried and again lost!! Here is my littleness to your poem. Love you.
    Oh my dear Deborah, what a lovely, deep heart-touching poem. I wished I knew your Mom.
    Your words are talking about sixty years of pain? I am deeply sorry, and at the same time curious what the reason could be.
    Anyway, your poem shows your innermost griefs, which burst out of your dear heart. Thank you for giving us the possibility to get a copy of your beautiful poem. Blessing, Aladin

    1. Dearest Aladin,

      Thank you so much for your wonderful reply! I’m deeply touched by your beautiful gift of words. Sadly, I grew up in a home where alcohol and violence reigned … it wasn’t easy for any of us, especially my mother.

      Sharing the decorated poem that I left with my mother last week felt very important and despite my childish drawings … it was the kingfisher who became too insistent to ignore.

      I can only apologise again for the annoying WordPress captcha code, it drives me crazy as sometimes it works then it loses everything I write! If in doubt, always email Aladin!

      Love and light, Deborah.

  3. Dear Deborah, this is such a wonderful, tear inducing and heartfelt farewell to your mother – in the absence of a funeral what a perfect way to pay tribute to her. How precious are the gifts she has left you…how they must have influenced your working life and supported you in difficult times only your will know, yet I know for certain that they have given you such a rich creative life as can be seen in your beautiful poetry and essays and that legacy will always be with you.

    How fitting to place your poem “Dear Mother, Dear Father” in her casket – even in this act you are balancing the influences of your anima and animus, walking the talk of your animus diet…I am so pleased that you have been able to do this and find peace. I love the fact that despite not being an artist you still decorated it in your own way…and believe me, that is a better drawing of a Kingfisher than I could ever do!!

    Sending you much love, light and healing thoughts xx

    1. Thank you so much Sophia for your kind-hearted, compassionate reply! Both my parents, in different ways, have gifted me an incredibly, rich creative life. And although growing up in a rural setting certainly had its setbacks as a teenager … I’ll always be appreciative of being introduced early in life to the rhythms and cycles of Mother Nature with all Her glorious, unforgettable beauty. Then somewhere around the age of 9 years old I discovered the magical, mysterious alphabet and can even remember writing my first poem around this age which I called “The Candle” … another synchronicity for sure as Jung would say!

      Wow! I hadn’t made that Anima/Animus connection before but it’s so true! I didn’t want to leave any other poem with my mother apart from “Dear Mother, Dear Father” as this one felt “just right”. Hmm, I’m definitely going to need to add another chapter to my book now! Many thanks for sharing that insightful gold nugget … such treasure! I’m blown away and will be reflecting on this now for some time.

      Ha-Ha! Yes, there’s no artist here but doodling and leaving a heartfelt, symbolic verse felt important. I chose an old English font to add magnitude to the occasion. Thank you once again for your wonderful reply. Love and light, Deborah.

      1. I am so pleased that you’re inspired to write a further chapter – out of incredible grief can emerge new life…life a phoenix from the ashes of the fire.

        1. Yesterday, in Marion Woodman’s deep memoir, “Bone” I read “When Sophia is moving you towards new consciousness, you need to recognize the winds of change at once, move with them instead of clinging to what is already gone.”

          Thank you so much Sophia for rekindling my spirit, vision and Animus Diet! x

    1. Thank you Luisa for your wonderful response and a warm welcome to my poetry and Jungian thought website. We’re few in number but like-minded in heart and soul. Love and light, Deborah.

  4. I cry for your mom as she ascends to peaceful realms. I weep for you as you release and honor what was and what could never be. I wrap you in love, dear Deborah. I’m glad you’re not alone. Sudden death is a shock to the body and heart–especially when it’s someone biologically close. May there be calm healing days ahead for you, sweet summer days filled with flowers and birdsong. With tenderness, Elaine

    1. Oh, Elaine how you throw my soul up high and wrap me in love with your tender words! Thank you my dear friend! My mother’s tears were unbearable to listen to as a child; they broke my heart again and again. How she found the strength to get up was beyond me! Eat, sleep, beat, repeat … so heart-breaking. How did she cope? By emotionally shutting down I suspect. Poor mum, poor children and without a funeral, there was no chance to say goodbye, collectively, yet each of us I’m sure will find our own way to honour her life.

      Yes, my body and heart have gone into deep shock! Pounds fall away, pounds that have stubbornly refused to budge for decades. An unexpected ending to my Animus Diet that I could not have imagined … so maybe there’s another chapter to write in this new book of mine! Hmm, I do wonder if I’ll lose the ten pounds I originally hoped too? It’s funny how things turn out as many times along this journey I thought I had reached the final resting place only to wake up the next day and discover a new path … or perhaps new strength.

      Sending much love and light across the oceans and oaks between us, Deborah.

  5. Tears for you both dear Deborah. Your poem “Dear Mother, Dear Mother” is so beautiful. Your poet’s heart will always remember the kingfisher, with its radiant light on its wings, standing on a tree and taking flight, swooping among the greenth of trees and leaves, up into the sky into the beyond. Her gifting you with your wonderful pen, always like a sword cutting through to essential truths, those of love and pain, tears bitter and sweet, stays .. Love to you across the seas Deborah.

    1. Thank you so much Susan for your beautiful, poetic reply! Even today, I remember the exact moment I saw my first kingfisher sat perched on a branch, overlooking a pond. A memory that will blaze forever! Last Friday I took a wander down a country lane to that same pond, and wandered further down to the old house I lived in until I was ten years old. What memories it evoked that day, many of which I attempt to capture in my “Dear Mother, Dear Father” poem. I’m sure I will explore the rich symbolism surrounding the “Kingfisher” in great depth in the coming days. Sending much love and light across the oceans between us, Deborah.

  6. Deborah, is this a copy of the poem you left with your mother? It’s such a beautiful tribute and, having both collections of yours, I fully understand all she endured. What a precious gift she has bequeathed you – the love of poetry. The tenderness of the title with its reflected last line is sensed deeply. All the best, Anna.

    1. Thank you so much Anna for your heartfelt reply! I didn’t know I was going to write until an hour ago after reading my dear friend’s latest blog. All I know is that I felt moved to honour my mother and her death, following her cremation yesterday. A strange day with no service held … so I light a candle and kind of prayed, well prayer is the only word that comes to mind.

      No, this isn’t the poem that I left with my mother. I left “Dear Mother, Dear Father” (page 84, book 2) which I kind of decorated with colourful images of the tree of life and a kingfisher, alongside patterns swirled along the paper edges. I’m not very good at technical stuff but I’ll try and upload the images in my reply to you a little later or tomorrow. Love and light, Deborah.

      1. Thank you for letting me know Deborah. I would love to see them but understand if you can’t or if you change your mind later tonight. Right, I’m off to read…. page 84.

        1. Hi Anna, I couldn’t find a way to add them to the comment box so I’ve added both sheets to the post. If you click they should open and become readable. Artist, I’m not … yet my heart yearned to leave its symbolic verse too.

    1. Only a true poet could gift such beautiful words as you have today! Thank you so much Brian, I’m moved and have tears falling down my face as I type! Love and light, Deborah.

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